主要针对于在网上搜索到的买家:
Hello, My dear Friend,
I hope this letter finds you
I am writing to you after I carefully browsed your websites, I was really impressed by your website, your items are amazingly beautiful, but ours are worth your attention too.
Have you thought about looking for a long-term and steady manufacturer of tattoo machine and accessories from China?
If yes, ok, this is the chance for both of us!
We are the manufacturer of all kinds of xx machines for 10 years , main sell xx xx xx xx xx xx , etc... We promise the high quality, competitive price and best services.
You can view our products at:xxxx or xxxx . We are looking for strong business partners like you to expand both of our business. We sincerely hope that you can join in us and bring both of us a chance to cooperate with & a bright future. Thank you for your patience and time.
Looking forward for your early reply, hope we can have the chance to cooperate.
Best regards.
Yours Sincerely
------------------------------
Sharry Zhang
xxxx Manufactory
Tel: xxx
Fax: xxxx
E-mail: xxx
Website: xxx
Add:xxx
写的很好，值得学习！假如能再短一点会更好哦！
YOUR LETTER IS GOOD ,STUDY FROM YOU
呃...我看不懂！5555怎么写内贸的啊？我昨天都急死了！
太长， 应该点题就是重点
120 字左右吧
不够精练，如果我们是BUYER,不会有耐心读完的。
哈，Sharry
写得不错，很有新意。这封招揽交易信的风格我喜欢，可以吸引我从头看到尾，哈
给你改一下文法上的错误，其他的保持原貌。当然有些句子是可以有改善的空间，这是我在网站里看到的最有新意的招揽交易信的写法。
"everything is well with your endeavors"这句改为 everything is going well with you.
websites 改为 website
main sell 改为 mainly selling
partners 改为 partner
bring both of us , 改为 give both of us
bring both of us a chance to cooperate with & a bright future. 这句应该改良一下，语意有些不明。
cooperate 改为 to serve you
John
余仰安 回复 余仰安 取消似乎有点长哦.
